Round 2: My 1st Week

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I shared last week that I’m starting over with a blank slate and I’m calling it Round 2. I went into the week trying to remember what I did in my original first week and let me tell you something. It was WAY harder this time around. Why? I’m not sure.

Part of me thought it would be a little easier to jump back into the strict train because I did it really well the first time. Unfortunately, that was not the case. I did decent. There were some moments where I walked past the snack cabinet at work with no problems. There was one big time where I grabbed 4 snacks out of the cabinet and ate them at once.

But, I can honestly say that I made progress. I cooked in my kitchen more this past week than I have in the past month (moving probs) and it felt good. It felt good to spend time making my own food. I appreciated it more. I have a new Turkey Chili that I’m literally obsessed with and I made a modified Jambalaya recipe with “riced” cauliflower. I plan to share both soon! I also made a huge amount of vegetables and chicken to last us through the weekend. I ate out twice and ordered salads both times.

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Here’s to my first week officially back!
R2 Week 1:
-2.2lbs
-31lbs total — I’m going to continue using the overall total number.

These pictures were taken fresh out of the salon. I got my hair cut and colored! I love a good afternoon spent at the salon. I think this big change will help me make changes and progress towards not being lazy in my food life. I have a theory. Let’s see if it works.

I don’t know if you know this about me or not, but I’m a nail biter. I’ve been biting my nails for as long as I can remember. I read this article and decided that it was probably time that I stop the nail biting madness. As of right now, I’ve gone 2 days without biting! That’s more progress to celebrate!

Round 2

Let me share a little snapshot of what my life has looked like these past few months:

  • House Closing
  • Packing
  • Crochet
  • Packing / Moving
  • Major Deep Cleaning
  • An overwhelming need to organize, but not knowing how or where to start
  • Crochet
  • Birthdays
  • Moving
  • Unpacking / Can’t find what I’m looking for
  • Crochet
  • Big work events
  • Family Time
  • Booked up weekends
  • Oversleeping
  • Staying Up Late
  • Crochet Markets

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All of those things listed are good things. Nothing on that list is a tragedy or was a traumatic event. Everything was good and necessary for the time. Amidst all of that busyness, I lost focus, took my eyes off the prize, and honestly quit trying to make healthy decisions. I quit.

I let my circumstances take control and tried to fit my life in between them instead of recognizing that I had complete control the whole time. In my mind busyness is not a bad thing. I like having things going on, events to look forward to, and a list of things to do. I never want to be bored, but sometimes in the midst of the busyness I have the tendency to crumble under the pressure. It’s not my favorite character trait.

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To supplement my caving in feelings, I typically stop focusing on myself. Instead of becoming laser focuses on my health goals, I put them off telling myself (and others) that “I just need to get through moving…” or “I just need to get past this conference…” or “once my crochet market is behind me…” ¬†then I’ll get back on track. I just kept putting it off instead of figuring out how to be healthy and stay on plan when I was stressed.

Looking back, I know that I could’ve been stronger, both mentally and physically. I could’ve been prepared. I could’ve stayed away from the candy. It doesn’t help to dwell on what I could’ve / should’ve done differently, but I can totally learn from it. That’s what I’m going to do. I am starting over with perspective.

The truth is that there is always going to be something. Something going on, something good, something bad, something busy. It’s naive of me think that the world would give me a break because I’m trying to only focus on one thing. I MUST learn that just because I’m busy and overwhelmed, my health cannot suffer. It actually made everything worse because I felt sick and had less energy.

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I’m not proud of the decisions that I made, the weight that I gained back, or the nights where I binged on everything terrible because I couldn’t deal with my emotions, but it happened. Now, I have to learn and move on.

Some of you have asked why I haven’t been posting regularly or if you’ve missed a post (always SO flattered when people talk to me in person about my journey and this blog – thank you times a million!). That’s where I’ve been. I’ve been out of the game and too ashamed to admit it.

I think it will mentally help me if I completely start over. I’m counting this week as Week 0 – Round 2. Here we go! Next Tuesday, you’re going to read a blog about how I fought temptations, officially broke off my relationship with dairy, carbs, and sugar, and how good it feels to write about progress. I’m calling it!

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I hope that my sharing details of how I quit or pressed the pause button doesn’t discourage you, but encourages you to evaluate where you are, look at your circumstances, and tell them that they don’t have power over you. -JJ

Thoughts Everyone has on IP Weigh In Day

Thought I’d share my inner monologue on Weigh In Days with you.

  • Yay! It’s weigh in day! I wonder how I did this week?
  • Should I be excited or should I dread it?
  • What did I do this week?
  • Wear something light so it won’t get picked up on the scale
  • What all did I eat this week?!
  • Did I dream that I ate that dessert or was that real?
  • Nah it was a dream. Just a dream.
  • I’ll be seeing a lower number I’m sure of it.
  • That cookie dream sure felt real…
  • Stop worrying about it. Be proud of yourself even if the number on the scale stays the same. You tried
  • Be proud of any progress.
  • But…. I really hope the number is lower.
  • What did I weigh last week?
  • My clothes are a little looser so I definitely lost
  • Is it normal to be excited about weigh in day?
  • Just a few more minutes till scale time
  • What all IP food do I want this week?
  • Chocolate Drink Mix obvs
  • How many restricted items can I swing this week? I wish I could eat multiple restricted items every day….
  • Pre-Made or powder drinks?
  • Definitely Powder. Shaking my own drink makes me feel independent
  • Did I eat enough vegetables this week?
  • Do Southwest Cheese Curls really taste better than normal chips or am I just used to them?
  • They definitely taste better.¬†
  • Ahhhhhhh it’s time! What number do I want to see?
  • What was my number last time?
  • Should I take my shoes off? They have to weight like what a half a pound right?
  • Here I go! What is it? What is it? What is it?!
  • Ow-Ow!! LOWER! You did it!
  • I forgot how to do math. Where am I now?
  • Tell me how much I lost!
  • Can we High Five?
  • Clean slate. Let’s kill it this week

Be honest. We all get a little crazy on Weigh In day. – JJ