It was almost at this time last year that I started focusing on losing weight and taking my health seriously. I did well for a few months, then basically quit trying from Thanksgiving to now (4 ish months).
It’s become really hard for me to distract myself from the thoughts of regret of not sticking to my program or making some sort of effort to make healthy choices. If I would’ve stuck it out and maintained my weight loss, I could go into summer with a new bathing suit; be a size or two smaller; and probably try on something, purchase it, and walk out of the store confidently with a J Crew bag on my shoulder.
Instead. I’m back at where I started only this time, tack on the feeling of regret.
I really could cry just thinking about it.
It’s more than buying certain size clothes or a new bathing suit. It’s that I’ve robbed myself of new experiences and a sense of accomplishment. Instead of being proud of myself for completing something huge (like setting a goal and reaching it), I’m more self conscious than ever that I failed and that things could look totally different this summer if I would’ve only made smarter, long term choices.
How am I dealing with this regret? Not well. Some days, it really takes a hold of my mind and spirit. Some days I’m able to distract myself with a crochet project or any other task. Unfortunately, the regret, as crazy as this seems, discourages healthy choices and encourages ice cream and pizza. You would think it would be the opposite, right? It’s like I wrote about months ago, shame is not proper motivation. Just like shame, anger, sadness and regret aren’t motivators either.
I’m going out on a limb here. I can’t be the only one who has weight regret. Let’s come together and encourage each other to work past the regret and shame and start fresh. Each day can be a new opportunity.
I need as many opportunities as I can get to finally get it right. I want to lose weight in a way that’s going to set me up for success long term. I want my habits to change. It’s time. Who’s with me?